MiataTudes
The Monthly Newsletter of the Sacramento Area Miata Owners Association
www.sacramentoareamiata.org
Copyright 2007 - Sacramento Area Miata Owners Association - Sacramento, CA 95662

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Greetings Fellow SAMOA Members
By Robin George

With one of the mildest winters upon us in recent years, it almost feels like Spring. The thought of Spring for some members
(who park their Miata's for winter) is a time when we start thinking about taking our Miata's out of winter hibernation. I wanted
to put away my Miata back in mid-November but there were many days in December and January were it was perfect weather to
take a top down ride. This April 1st we are starting off the season with a little jaunt through the countryside.  It should give our
cars just enough exercise to get the year going.  Later this year we’ll use the same road to really flex our springs and sway bars.  
Watch out for trolls.

I want to thank my fellow officers for their hard work they put in throughout the year. We officers don’t “officially” take the 3
month break from the club during the “winter”. We are always working to make the year successful.  There are always plenty of
mundane things behind the scenes to do to keep this club a viable one.  I promise not to preach anymore about participation but
to let those who want to have fun, have fun.
The 2007 season looks to be another good year for SAMOA. We are planning a variety of events/runs with other local Miata Clubs
in the Northern California area. Let’s not only welcome these folks but any new folks that join our family.

On a personal note I want to thank everyone who has helped my family get through some trying times.  One always thinks they
are immortal until the fallacy of that notion hits close to home.  It’s not over yet, but with friends such as those in the SAMOA
family its makes life better and certainly rewarding.  Let’s get out and drive.


Getting Involved
By Mike DeLaurentis

I encourage you to get involved in SAMOA in some fashion and to as great extent as possible.  You may not feel like becoming an
officer or think that you have the wherewithal to plan an event but there are always other things that need to be done.  Your
board of officers usually has a few pet projects that need someone to lead but don’t have the time to do them themselves so
this is where you may fit in.  Ask me via email,
mdelaurentis@hotmail.com, or at the next meeting and I’ll fix you right up!

In addition to SAMOA I am quite active in several other organizations and feel as if my life is enriched by what I learn, what I can
offer and most importantly from the good friendships I have made because of those organizations.  Give it a try.


Treasure Trove News
By Jeanne George

WELCOME to new members joining in March:
Jonathan “Duckie” Philips and Jeremy Smith

Memberships expiring on April 1:
David and Deidre DeNuzzo
Tom Drennan
Rod Gonzalez
Ellie Jenkins
Joan and John Kastorff
Brian and Sherri Larson
Shelia and John Souza

Memberships  renewed during March (with expiration date):
Adi and Parvin Damania (03/01/08)
Ed Long and Chris Allen (03/01/08)
Mike and Marlaina Wilson (01/01/08)
Bob and Donna Carlson (02/01/08)
Sherri and Rex Rowland (04/01/08)
Graeme Kinsey (04/01/08)
Sharon Howe (04/01/08)
Sandra and Fred Stuessy (04/01/08)


Car Jokes
By Anonymous (yeah right)

Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the swimming pool."

A young lady was driving through a built-up area at about 70 mph when she noticed a motorcycle policeman on her tail. She
increased her speed to 80 mph but the cop hung grimly on her tail. She put her foot down and pushed the car up to 90,
drawing rapidly away from her pursuer. Suddenly she saw a garage up ahead and with a squeal of brakes she pulled up in the
station and dashed into the ladies' toilet. Five minutes later she emerged to find the motorcycle policeman waiting for her. With a
sweet smile she said, 'I bet you thought I'd never make it in time.'

A man in a Porsche 911 stops at a stoplight and a guy on a scooter pulls up next to him. The guy on the scooter leans over and
takes an admiring look at the inside of the Porsche and tells the driver that he has a really hot car. Well, the light turned green so
the driver of the Porsche decides to show off and peels out and leaves the guy on the scooter in the dust. Then, all of a sudden,
he sees the scooter zip on past him. So, being a little cocky, the Porsche driver floors it again and blows past the guy on the
scooter. A few seconds later, he again sees the scooter zip on past him. So now he's a little irate as well as a little miffed that
that scooter keeps passing him so he floors it until he is going over 100 mph. He thinks to himself that there would be no way
that scooter could catch him now, but then looks in the rearview mirror and sees that scooter starting to catch up. He then
decides to find out what that scooter really is and slams on his brakes. Then the scooter crashes into the Porsche. After the dust
settled, the Porsche driver sees the scooter driver lying in the road and goes over to him and asks how he could go as fast as the
Porsche on a little wimpy scooter... The dying man replied, "I can't really, but my suspenders were caught on your side mirror...."

There was once a small snail who always dreamed of becoming a race-car driver. One day he heard that an uncle of his had died
and left him some money! Now his dream could be realized! He bought himself a car, souped it up, and then painted a large red
"S" on it. When he was at his first race, a friend of his asked him why he had painted the big red "S" on the car? Simple, the snail
replied; when people see my car go zooming down the track I want them all to exclaim: Oh look!! See the S car go!!!!!!!!!!!!

The work of a certain timid but thorough law clerk was valued for its precision, so soon he was making money to buy himself a
nice new Miata.   Not long afterwards he had the misfortune to get lost in the worst part of town, and when he stopped at a
red light a huge, mean sob hauled him out of the driver's seat.  Drawing a circle around him on the pavement, the hoodlum told
him not to set foot out of it unless he wanted the crap beat out of him. The delinquent proceeded to demolish the car, starting
with the headlights and windows, when he heard the law clerk giggling.  He moved on to the body and engine, but in between
crashes he couldn't help hearing gales of laughter.  Finally, crowbar in hand, he came over to his victim and demanded, "What you
laughing about? Your fancy car's never gonna run again."  "So?" the clerk gasped helplessly, tears running down his face. "Ever
since you started tearing up my car, I've been stepping in and out of this circle, in and out, in and out..."

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an
immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral.  "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls Royce,"
the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him
$5,000.  Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That
will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.  
"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone I learned that you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to
borrow $5,000?"  The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

A banker is proudly driving his brand-new Jaguar sedan around New York City. On reaching his destination, he parks the car at the
curb and gets out on the traffic side. Just as he opens the door, a taxicab slams into it, ripping the door right off its hinges. The
cabby drives off as if nothing extraordinary has occurred.  A policeman who witnesses the whole thing walks up to the banker,
who is now wailing loudly, "Ohhh myyy gaaawdd! Look what that idiot did to my new Jaaaaggguuuaar!  The cop looks at the
banker, shakes his head, and says, "You bankers are so damn materialistic! Here you are whining about your expensive car, and
you don't even realize the cab tore off your arm!"  The banker looks down at where his arm used to be and begins to wail loudly,
"Ohhhh myyy gaawd, my Rolllllleeeexxx is gone!"

Someone at the auto repair shop locked the owner's keys inside his car. While the locksmith was working on the driver's-side door
lock, the anxious owner walked up and tried the passenger's-side door. It opened.  The locksmith looked up. "Yeah, I already got
that one."


Will A Miata By Any Other Name Smell As Sweet?
By Adi Damania

In case some of you missed the following bit of news regarding our beloved marquee….
IRVINE, Calif. (Dec. 15, 2006) - Mazda Motor Corporation today announced that all of the U.S.- and Canada-bound Mazda vehicles
from the Singapore-based car-carrying vessel, M/V Cougar Ace, which nearly capsized off the Aleutian Islands in late July, would be
scrapped. These include several hundred Miatas! The reason for scrapping all the cars is a strange one as well. "After thorough
testing by engineers from our North American and Japanese R&D centers, we decided the most appropriate course of action –
after considering all angles – and with our customers foremost in mind – was not to sell any of the 4,703 Mazdas aboard the ship,"
said Jim O'Sullivan, President and CEO of Mazda North American Operations, based in Irvine, CA.

The M/V Cougar Ace, it seems, sat listing at more than 60-degrees for nearly a month after an incident at sea, before it could be
towed to the Port of Portland, OR, for repairs and to have its cargo off-loaded. I am presuming that since the cars were all tied-
down at severe angles for an extended period, the potential for future problems led the company to reconsider its initial decision
to sell some of the vehicles, which had no toward sign of damage, as used. Which means that our Miatas can suffer bending of
the frame/chassis if parked at a steep angle for a long period of time without being moved.

Can one of our co-club members from BAMA park one of their least driven Miatas on a steep slope in San Francisco for a couple of
months and observe what, if any, is the result? Or what about those Miatas parked day after day in garages that are not level as
many are in San Francisco?

However, I would buy a new Miata, if offered at half price and without the Mazda or Miata name tag, that came from the M/V
Cougar Ace any day IF they would also tell me the exact degree of the angle mine the car was tilting! Then I would go to one of
those fabricators who make stands for displaying cars at car-shows and get a stand that tilts at the same angle and then park the
car on it for a month IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION to even out any flexing of the frame or chassis! I would then call the car
“The Miata - Ace Cougar Special Edition”. Howz that for SAMOA cleverness? High Five till next time!


A 2007 Bugatti Veyron worth $1.7 million crashes
By Adi Damania

By now you, the readers of Adi’s columns in Miatatudes, must know that the Bugatti Veyron is the world’s most expensive and
fastest production car. By golly! It is faster even than a Formula 1 racing car; the one that the likes of Michael Schumacher drives.
A car worth more than $1.7 million out of the showroom was involved in a collision with a van before wrapping itself around a tree
in heavy rain on a 40mph speed-limit section of Renfree Way, Shepperton,Surrey, in England on Sunday March 4. The exclusive
Bugatti Veyron car was going at 100 mph when it collided with a Vauxhall Astra van that was carrying a seven and a half month
pregnant woman who was being taken to hospital by her husband for a check-up but later was taken home as she had escaped
without any serious injuries. It seems the Bugatti hit a patch of standing water (it always rains in England), aquaplaned, went out
of control and crashed in to the other vehicle. No one else was hurt but police have cited the driver of the Bugatti for driving
without due care and attention, in other words reckless and negligent driving, due to the excessive speed at which it was going.
Surrey Police, in an exclusive to Miatatudes, added that the luxury car was driven by a man who had borrowed it from his brother
who is the actual owner of the car. There was another male passenger with the driver in the car. The owner I am sorry to
report, is a fellow Indian named Kumar Soni. He refuses to be interviewed and is said to be in deep mourning as he had taken
delivery of the super car only 8 days before after being on the waiting list for over a year! At this time 300 cars have been
produced and only 13 remain in Britain.

The 8-litre, 1000-hp hand-crafted Veyron has a top speed in excess of 250mph. The sixteen cylinders are placed in 4 banks of 4
cylinders each, or the equivalent of two narrow-angle V8 engines mated in a "W" configuration. At around the top-sped the car
produces so much heat that it needs 10 radiators to keep the temperature down to manageable levels: 3 radiators for the engine
cooling system, 1 heat exchanger for the air to liquid intercoolers, 2 for the air conditioning system, 1 transmission oil radiator, 1
differential oil radiator, 1 engine oil radiator, 1 hydraulic oil radiator for the spoiler!! BBC’s “Top Gear” reporter James May, who test
drove the car up to 253mph on Volkswagen test track in Germany said “When getting close to the top speed during the test the
tires will last for only about fifteen minutes, but it's okay (you will not blow any at that speed!) because the fuel tank runs out in
twelve minutes at that speed." It must also be noted, that due to the laws of physics, the car needs only 270 bhp to reach
156mph, however, it needs the remaining 630bhp to reach its top speed of 250+mph. This is because the power required to
overcome aerodynamic drag increases as the cube of the speed.

The exotic car can accelerate from 0 to 60mph in 2.5 seconds. Oh Bugga! This made it the world’s costliest two-vehicle road
crash ever. Yesterday, the Prudential insurance assessors began work to try and see whether the hand-crafted 16-cylinder engine
of the car, that has no less than 10 radiators, was repairable or whether it was a write-off (total loss) of the century. For the sake
of the driver and his brother the owner, I am hoping they repair it. What a shame if the yard wreckers get it. Who would buy
their salvaged parts if only about a dozen of the cars exist in Britain? Or will they sell it to those Soviet car restorers in North
Highlands, CA, that re-sur-wreck smashed cars with a salvage title? Both the air-bags on the Bugatti deployed and that itself will
cost as much as a new Miata to fix! Ettore Bugatti himself must be turning at the rate of at least 5mph in his grave!

Well, folks, being in a similar crash in June 2003 in broad daylight and with no rain in my spanking mint 1995 Special Edition Miata,
the “Merlot Harlot”, I can well imagine the feelings of the Bugatti owner! It is a sinking feeling emanating from deep within the
bowels of the human body that leaves behind a sad feeling of “if I only I had just gone a little bit slower”. Ta Rah! Till next time.

STOP PRESS: It now seems that the Bugatti was going only at 50 mph (the car looks so sleek that eye witnesses felt it was
going at 100 mph) when it went out of control and the damage is not as sever as first reported. In fact the two air-bags did not
go off. The car has been sent to the factory at Dorlisheim near Molsheim, France, for a complete re-fit of the damaged panels and
should be back on the road in a month or so. So now stop crying Mr Kumar!


Aprils Fools
By Jeanne George

April Fools’ Day began in the 1500s.  At that time the Julian calendar began on March 25th, but because of Holy Week the
festivals began on April 1st.   When the Gregorian calendar was adopted the New Year was moved to January 1.  Those who
forgot the change and attempted to celebrate New Year’s on the wrong date were teased as “April Fools”.  

The origin of pulling pranks on people on April 1st is shrouded in mystery.   The most believed version is when individuals began
trying to trick others into believing it was the New Year on April 1st.  On that day, people would unexpectedly drop in on friends
in an effort to confuse them into thinking they were receiving a New Year’s call.

The custom of pulling pranks has evolved into its own lore and has unofficial rules.  Superstition has it that the period of pranks
ends at noon.  Any pranks after that time will call bad luck down onto the head of the perpetrator.  Those who fail to respond
with good humor to tricks played on them are said to attract bad luck to their selves.  

It has become a tradition to pull jokes of the harmless variety on those near and dear to us on April 1st.  This is a time for us to
pull out the little kid in us by indulging in a practical joke or two.  Often the efforts we go through planning and scheming are
funnier in our imagination than when put into action.  But that doesn’t stop us.   Children enjoy pulling pranks on their teachers,
classmates, brothers, sisters, and parents.  The age old “you have a spider on your back” brings endless laughs to the younger
ones.  Radio personalities have a great deal of fun while on air on this day; often confusing their listeners.  

Even Robin will pull pranks on the unsuspecting school kids who ride his bus.  Last year he arrived at his first bus stop.  There
stood 62 kids ready to fight to crowd into the bus.  Being 7th and 8th graders they think pushing is part of the loading process.  
Robin stood on the bus step, and with a sad face told them.  “Kids this isn’t my idea, but the school district is attempting to
implement a new bus loading policy.  All the girls will sit on the left side of the bus and all the boys on the right side.  So let’s
make things go easier for all of us and please comply.”  To which he heard groans, but they did comply.  He arrived at the next
stop, and 10 more were told the same thing.  When he arrived at the school drop off zone, several students noticed that kids on
the other buses weren’t following the “new procedure” and brought it to his attention.  At that point Robin stood up and said
“April Fools, I got you!”  They groaned, laughed and admitted he got them good.  

So beware of trusting anyone on this fun day.
April 2007